6 Ways to Eat a Pussy
Techniques That Will Drive Her Wild!
For many women intercourse isn't enough to get them from "oh" to "oh-YES!". Getting a woman to orgasm has more to do with movement of your lips than what you do with your hips. This ultimate oral sex guide teaches you all of the mouth moves you need to go down on a woman skillfully. Based on the book
Oral Sex She'll Never Forget , this guide gives 6 cunnilingus secrets. You'll learn how to combine positions, mouth moves, hand strokes, sex toys, seduction and setting to create the most exciting oral sex experience for her. Surprise your lover with something new and exciting.
Whether she's in the mood for something playful or a little naughty, sexy photography and detailed illustrations show you exactly how to hit her hot spots and have her beg for more. Cunnilingus isn't just about mouth to genital contact. It's an experience that should engage all the senses and thrill her body from head to toe.
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Introduction: This Is Not the “Same Ole” Oral Sex Book
No sex technique says “I love you” quite the way that cunnilingus does.
Oral adoration of her most intimate parts is one of the greatest gifts you can give a woman. Like every gift that will be cherished, it must be right for the recipient and offered from the giver’s heart. A few aimless licks in the hopes of getting something in return will not be considered the gift of cunnilingus here!
Regardless of your position on cunnilingus, most women love it and some can’t climax without it. Cunnilingus is sex, and a beautiful form of sex at that. Unlike intercourse, you get to taste, smell, and touch your partner all in the same moment. Like driving a stick shift, cunnilingus is a learned skill; you can learn it, and you can be very, very good at it. I will show you how.
Other books may teach you different tongue and mouth moves, as I do here. My book does more than that! I have created special scenarios that turn cunnilingus into a sex event.
If you’ve always wanted to be the kind of man who has the power to psychologically arouse your partner and the technical skills to bring her to orgasm, this book is for you. You will get so much from performing cunnilingus, including:
• Increased confidence in your skills as a lover
• Sexual satisfaction (hers and yours)
• Being in your masculine power
• Newly inspired sense of sexual adventure and creativity
• Being more in tune with her sexual response cycle
And my promise to both you and your lover is this: The relationship will feel new and exciting again.
Each scenario is exciting and creative and will help you master cunnilingus. I’ve organized them into categories, and you’ll find one that suits every erotic mood. In addition, Sex Facts are sprinkled throughout the book and are sure to add to your sexual knowledge. Within the scenarios, you’ll find easy segments: Perfect the Move highlights the special techniques used. The Scenario sets up the creative fantasy that turns this act of cunnilingus into a sex event. Last-Minute Preparations gives you all the little preparatory details. The Technique gives you step-by-step directions from first touch to her orgasm.
And finally, The Sexpert Says gives you useful information based on my own experience, observations as a sexologist, and confessions from clients. The notes here will help you understand how to be playful and sexually adventurous with your woman and give you a snapshot of female sexuality, with some insights into male sexuality, too.
There is a cunnilingus scenario here for every mood, from playful to soul mate-connecting. If you try one and don’t like it, try another … and another … and another. Adapt, change, and modify to make it your own. What compares to the warmth of your breath, the wet sucking of your mouth, the firmness of your tongue?
I sincerely hope that my book will give you the tools and inspiration for rocking her erotic world and becoming more expressive and adventurous with her. And I hope that you learn more about your own sexuality and experience the confidence and personal power from a licking well done.
Wishing you a healthy and happy sex life!
6 Ways To Eat A Pussy
Sonia Borg, Ph.D., M.P.H., M.A.
This Is Not the “Same Ole” Oral Sex Book
But First, Basic Female Anatomy:
You’ve Got to Know Her Parts
CUNNILINGUS EVENT HEADLINERS
Rock Her World
Shaken and Stirred
Shave Before You Eat
The Mile High Challenge
Cunnilingus Event Headliners
Cunnilingus can be part of any celebratory event, from a rare dinner out at an expensive restaurant to an anniversary or major holiday or a fantasy game that merits special status.
• Rock Her World,
The occasion calls for a gift of jewelry—wrap it around your penis and dangle it over her mouth after you’ve given her cunnilingus.
• The Aphrodite,
Treat her like the goddess she is.
• Tantric Cunnilingus,
Soul-mate sex—from your mouth to her vulva.
• Shaken and Stirred,
Add an element of erotic surprise to dinner out with friends.
• Shave Before You Eat,
How often do you get to shave her pussy? Yes, that’s an event!
• The Mile High Challenge,
Join a small and select club of international lovers—but don’t try intercourse in that tiny space.
[image: Image]ROCK HER WORLD
She loves your penis just as it is. But wouldn’t she be thrilled to discover it wearing a piece of jewelry meant for her? And all she has to do to get that jewelry from the mighty penis is submit to cunnilingus.
This is a win-win scenario: She gets the orgasm and a piece of jewelry. And you are definitely the man who rocks her world.
The Rock Her World Cunnilingus Scenario
It’s Valentine’s Day (or her birthday or the anniversary of the day you met or married or had sex for the first time) and you want to give her something special. Forget the box and present it with style. Buy your bling and put it on your penis. And keep it in your pants during the foreplay.
A playful man makes life—and sex—more fun. And trust me: She will never forget the bling that came wrapped around your penis and was preceded by an orgasm. Wow!
Put on the bling. If it’s a bracelet, simply lasso your penis. Rings can be laced with ribbon and wrapped like a present on the penis.
Kiss, caress, and stroke her. Tell her you want to eat her pussy. If she reaches for your penis (inside your pants), resist her advances, proclaim that it is all about her, and make your way down between her thighs.
The Rock Her World Cunnilingus Technique
• Trail little sucking kisses down from her belly button to her vulva. Allow your hands to follow.
• Put your face between her legs and smell the sweetness of her. Put your nose on the button of her clit and rub it back and forth, to and fro.
• Move your nose from the tip of her clit down to her perineum and back.
• Use the butterfly stroke, starting with wisps lightly over the top of her clitoris, down to her urethra. Increase the speed, doing shorter, faster strokes. Increase the pressure.
• Insert a finger into her vagina. Watch and listen to her.
• When you feel the contractions of orgasm begin, use your tongue to lightly prod the clitoris at the head. Use a flat tongue to get more area with your prod.
• After her orgasm, while in cuddle mode, unzip your pants and confidently pull out your decorated penis and present your gift. She will laugh, and you’ll probably get that BJ—after she removes the bling, of course.
[image: Image]SEX FACT
The average time it takes for a vulva to lubricate is 30 seconds. Part of this lubrication comes from the vaginal walls and a small part comes from the Bartholin’s gland. Not only does lubrication make penetration easier, it’s nature’s way of balancing the environment in the vagina and clearing bacteria.
[image: Image]THE APHRODITE
You have probably told her time and time again how beautiful she is and how much you adore her body just as it is—but she still thinks she’s too fat or too small in the breasts or wide in the rear, or whatever. Am I right?
All too often women have a lot of body insecurities that hold us back from expressing our potential.
This cunnilingus scenario is designed to make her feel like Aphrodite, the goddess of love, beauty, and sexual rapture.
Perfect the Move
• Tell her that you have an illuminating surprise waiting for her in the bedroom but that you will need a few moments.
• Light about six candles at the base of a full-length mirror. Play some music she likes or choose a song that has lyrics you think were written for her.
• Create a place (using a lot of firm pillows) for your Aphrodite to recline in front of the mirror with her back supported, so she can see herself as you perform cunnilingus on her.
The Aphrodite Scenario
You take her hand and lead her into the room. Quietly, you hold her and let your eyes express how beautiful you find her and how much you desire her. Feel the erotic energy between you.
Take her hand and walk her over to the mirror. Meet her eyes in the mirror and tell her that you want her to watch you worship the goddess of love. Stroke her hair, for example, and tell her how much you love the way the curls fall on her shoulders. Slowly slide the collar of her shirt down and kiss her smooth neck. Watch as she turns her head and makes room for you to kiss her. Take off her shirt slowly, button by button. Cup her breasts in your hands. Remove her bra and rub her breasts against your cheek. Tell her you love the firmness of her nipples and swirl your tongue around them.
Run your hands down her body, feeling her hips and thighs and legs and commenting on their beauty as you undress her down to her panties.
Sit her down on her throne of pillows, remove her panties with your teeth, spread her legs open wide, and show her the contours of her flowering petals.
Remark on her luscious shades of pink or purple.
Put your nose to her vulva and let her hear you drinking in her scent. Glide your finger between her labia and put it in her mouth to taste what you taste.
The Aphrodite Cunnilingus Technique
• Using your tongue alone, separate her labia majora and labia minora. Move slowly and press your tongue as lightly as possible to open her lips. Make her crave more touch by shifting your patterns.
• Glide your tongue up the clitoral shaft to the clitoral hood.
• Expose the clitoral glans (or the head of her clit). Swirl your tongue slowly around the head, barely touching it.
• As her breathing gets faster and she moves against you, take her to the next level, adding more tongue pressure to your moves.
• Slip your tongue back and forth in the space between the place where her labia meet and the clitoral hood.
• Put your lips around her clit and suck. Alternate with licking the shaft. Increase the pressure and speed as she moves toward orgasm.
[image: Image]SEX FACT
In French, the word to describe feminine smell is cassolette, which translates to “perfume box.”
[image: Image]The Sexpert Says
Most women have gotten the message that our vulvas don’t smell or taste good. Men have trouble understanding that because they believe the pussy is perfect. You’re right: It is.
You can help instill sexual confidence in your lover by telling her how beautiful she is, how much you love her smell and taste. Do you like to give her oral when she is fresh out of the shower, or do you prefer it after a good workout? Describe your preference to her in graphic detail.
This cunnilingus scenario is a winner because it lets her see herself through your eyes in the most positive way. She will feel beautiful and desirable—and love you for helping her feel that way.
[image: Image]TANTRIC CUNNILINGUS
If you have ever studied (or read about) Tantra or other spiritual sex practices, you know that some devotees regard sex as a path to the union of two souls.
This scenario helps you put a bit of spiritual magic into your sex life. The secret to success? Awareness, synchronized breathing, presence, and imagination.
Perfect the Move
• Breath is life. Practice breathing together in the “spooning” position, one partner curled around the other from the back. Breathe in and out louder than usual so you can hear and feel each other until your breathing is synchronized.
• Meditate together, experimenting with some visualization and imagination techniques, for example:
• Releasing: Release the energy that gets in the way of your ability to connect and be in the moment. Imagine that you have a hollow tube or tree trunk that connects to the center of the universe. Dump all thoughts, good and bad, down the shoot to be recycled into another form of energy. This will help you be present.
• Restoring energy: Imagine a large, magnetic golden sun hovering over your head. Let it collect all the energy you’ve spent during the day.
• Alchemizing energy: Now take all that restored energy and imagine that it is transforming into sexual energy and flowing into your body through the top of your head.
The Tantric Cunnilingus Scenario
You and your lover are ready for something not only “new” but “different” in sexuality. The “woo woo” elements of Western spiritualized sexuality courses may be off-putting. This scenario demystifies spiritual sex and takes you through the first steps of a practice that you can shape and call your own. The big bonus for you? You get to give her cunnilingus.
Do what helps you to feel grounded and in the moment. Lighting candles provides a nice glow and allows for lovers to make eye contact.
Close your eyes and kiss your lover. Breathe in and out through your nose, matching your breath. Relax into it like water collapsing into an ocean wave.
The Tantric Cunnilingus Technique
• Keep a relaxed eye gaze as you kiss your way to her vulva.
• Breathe against her inner thighs and mons.
• Continue listening for her breath, moving with her.
• When her breathing pattern starts to change, change your pattern.
• Do slow diagonal licks. Change direction. Three minutes is a good time to change a pattern. Never do any pattern for longer than ten minutes.
• Now lick her shaft up to the head.
• When you hear her breath increase, flick the tip of your tongue lightly back and forth across the head of her clitoris.
• Without losing the breathing rhythm, bring her to orgasm.
[image: Image]The Sexpert Says
You define what is “good sex” or “bad sex.” Maybe you do not relate to Tantra and other spiritual sex disciplines. It’s okay—if you like it fast and furious every time and she does, too, great. As long as the act is consensual and no one is getting hurt and it is not against the law, do it your way.
People are often judgmental about sex. Even those who claim they pass no moral judgments might tell you that their way of doing it—Tantra or polyamory or BDSM—is better than “vanilla sex.”
All that matters is what’s “better” for you.
[image: Image]SHAKEN AND STIRRED
Going out to dinner with her friends can be fun! Give it to her shaken and stirred before the evening begins. When you whisk her away from the table and bring her back some time later looking happy and sated, she’ll be the most envied and admired woman in the room.
Perfect the Move
• Preparation is everything. If you haven’t been to the restaurant before, make a quick trip just to scope out the bathrooms.
The Shaken and Stirred Scenario
Surprise her with a quick trip to the bathroom the next time you go out to dinner with friends. What woman expects to receive oral pleasure while her friends sip their cocktails?
After you’re seated and drinks are ordered, text her this message: Shhhh! Leave the table and meet me in the bathroom 2 minutes after I leave. Knock 3 times. xoxox
As soon as she’s read the message, excuse yourself. Give your girl a smile and head to the bathroom.
When she knocks, guide her into the bathroom. Kiss her and tell her that she looks stunning and you can’t stop thinking about the taste of her vulva. Turn her around the face the mirror, so she can see her herself.
The Shaken and Stirred Technique
• Guide her into this position: legs widespread, leaning forward on the bathroom counter or basin, her rear pushed out. Get down on your knees facing her rear.
• Appreciate her beautiful curves with the warmth of your hand and cool wetness of your mouth.
• Using a soft touch and long, slow strokes, reach your hand to her labia and separate them with a gliding finger.
• Because she usually experiences this while lying on her back, she’ll feel these strokes as bold and new.
• Now put your fingers around her clitoris in a V and stroke up and down, rubbing her clitoral crurs, or “wings.” Play with varried pressures and speeds until you feel her body relax.
• Break contact for a moment. This will build tension for the few moments it takes you to get in front of her.
• Go back to the V stroke on her wings. When you notice her breathing increase, put your lips around her clitoris and suck softly, covering your teeth with your lips.
• As you stroke her wings with one hand and use your mouth to gently suck, place one finger into her vagina and then two. Add pressure to the walls of her vagina with the balls of your fingertips. Do this pattern for about ten seconds, and then slowly rotate. Alternate sucking her clit with rotations.
• Match the rhythm of hands and mouth, increasing the intensity until she comes.
[image: Image]The Sexpert Says
This may be the first time that she has seen herself orgasm in a mirror. Women don’t masturbate as much as men do. Often, they don’t think of an orgasm as something they give to themselves. When they do indulge in self-pleasuring, they fantasize a lover giving them that orgasm—and close their eyes.
Few women (and many men) would think of masturbating in front of a mirror. You might start a powerful dialogue by asking her whether she has ever watched herself come before and how she experienced it.
[image: Image]SEX FACT
Women are always surprised to hear that you enjoy their smell. Making noises of appreciation will help her feel more comfortable about her body as you’re performing oral sex on her.
[image: Image]SHAVE BEFORE YOU EAT
Are you the man who gets a 5 o’clock shadow before noon? The slightly unshaven look is sexy—unless that rough face is between her thighs. Offer to shave before you go down on her—and suggest a twist: You’ll shave her pussy, too. Soft, hairless flesh meets the same.
Perfect the Move
• Practice shaving your own pubic hair with a woman’s razor. You’ll quickly see that you need a more gentle technique than you use for shaving your own face—and that’s why women’s razors are shaped differently.
• Hair removal cream is also an option for her if she has complained about the itch when pubic stubble grows back in. A popular pick among porn stars is Magic Shave, located in the African American hair care section of the drugstore.
• Searching for a gift for the girl who likes to wax? Give her a gift certificate to use at her favorite waxing salon.
The Shave Before You Eat Scenario
She always wants to watch you shave. On this day you let her, and after some time, you offer to shave her. You tell her where you want to put that smooth face, and in mid-sentence, as you are describing the details of the pleasure you will give her, she looks you in the eye and unbuckles her jeans. The sound of jeans hitting the floor is the last thing you remember hearing.
Gather your tools: a new disposable women’s razor or a fresh blade for the razor she always uses, small scissors, hair conditioner, shaving cream, a hand mirror, waterproof lubricant and/or a waterproof vibe.
With her input, select the pattern. Is she going bare? Will there be a shape? A landing strip? Or will you create a stencil? To create a stencil, get out a piece of cardboard, draw a pattern, and cut it out. Start with something simple such as a heart or initials.
Offer her an orgasm to relax her. Use a waterproof lubricant and/or a waterproof vibe.
The Shave Before You Eat Cunnilingus Technique
• Wash and condition her pubic hair.
• Start by trimming her pubic hair with small scissors or an electric trimmer.
• Have her stand or lift her butt up so that her hair is easy for you to reach. Lather her with shaving cream. Now take that razor carefully in hand. Proceed cautiously. When she is clean shaven and exquisitely sensitive, rinse her pussy, help her out of the tub, and towel her dry.
• Notice how heavenly silky smooth she feels. Tell her about it.
• Lay her down on her back on the bed or floor and get on your stomach.
• Marvel at the beauty of this masterpiece. Start by brushing your fingers over her mons. The absence of hair increases sensitivity.
• Gently touch and explore the smoothness of her inner labias with a lubed finger.
• Glide the tip of your tongue over and around the forchette, the skin at the base of the vaginal opening.
• Move your tongue in short slow licks up the side of her inner lips, or labia minoras, and up to her clitoral shaft.
• Maintain tongue action and insert your lubed finger(s) in between her already slippery thighs.
• When you make your way to the clitoral head, use a flat broad stroke to wash over her back and forth.
• Occassionally pause and put pressure on the commissure with your tongue.
• When she begins to contract to orgasm, applying light taps to the clitoral head will spark her orgasm.
[image: Image]The Sexpert Says
Although it leaves the pussy silky smooth and delicious, the Brazilian wax is very painful, especially the first few times a woman has it done. Many women choose not to wax because they hate the pain. If you really want your girl to wax it all off, then offer to go with her and wax your balls, pubic bone, perineum, and ass. That would be the equivalent. Don’t forget the Scream Cream—it’s a product that takes the sting away … well, a little bit.
[image: Image]THE MILE HIGH CHALLENGE
You want to have sex on an airplane, but those bathrooms are tiny! Wouldn’t it be much easier to give her an oral orgasm than have intercourse? (It still counts as sex, so you can be an active member of the Mile High Club.)
With overcrowded flights the norm, there’s only one way you can be sure you’ll get the necessary bathroom time: Book a red-eye flight to your destination. Give her manual foreplay under a blanket. When most passengers are asleep, make your move.
Perfect the Move
• Without ruining the surprise, do a “dry run” in a confined space roughly the size of an airplane bathroom. A shower stall, perhaps?
• Pay attention to how long it takes her to reach orgasm via various oral/manual techniques.
The Mile High Challenge Scenario
Pretend you are strangers who just met on the plane. Ask if she minds your hand in her lap, down her pants, or on her clit. Invite your new-found friend to join you in the bathroom. Choose a rear restroom because the back of the plane is the loudest section.
Put the toilet seat down and cover it with paper towels. (You want to avoid splash—uck—in the event of turbulence.)
Make eye contact just before going down to your knees.
Get down into a squatted position and face her vulva. (It’s the best use of the space.)
Have her scoot forward and put her legs over your shoulders.
The Mile High Challenge Technique
• Cover her clitoris with your mouth and make the “mmmmm” sound. Vibrate your lips on her clitoris, simulating the noise and vibration of the plane and adding to the spirit of playful adventure.
• Insert two fingers into her vagina and tell her to grip them with her PC muscle, and then release. Flexing and releasing the PC will make her orgasm more quickly.
• Give her alternating sensations of a flat, wet, not moving tongue. A lot of times we think we have to “do something,” but watch as the absence of movement after the vigors of vibration has her moving her pelvis over your tongue and maneuvering your head.
• Cover your teeth, take the whole clitoris in your mouth and gently suck, simultaneously running your tongue around and over the clitoral glans.
• Now get to work seriously—give her what you know she loves.
[image: Image]The Sexpert Says
The challenges of limited space and time—and the risk of discovery—will probably bring her to orgasm faster than she’s ever come during oral sex. Someone knocking angrily on the door only adds to the excitement. Exit that bathroom together like strangers who will go your separate ways. No hand-holding. No eye contact. Keep up the façade. What a naughty boy and girl you are!
[image: Image]SEX FACT
According to an unofficial survey of international flight attendants, about half the couples having sex in airplane bathrooms just met on the plane.
But First, Basic Female Anatomy: You’ve Got to Know Her Parts
You can’t drive her crazy if you don’t know where her buttons are, right? Here are some terms to get you started:
A politically and anatomically correct name, the vulva is the whole package of the female genitalia.
• Mons or mons veneris (Latin for mound of Venus): This soft spot on top of the pubic bone is sensitive to the touch and nice for arousal, but stimulation there generally won’t take her to climax.
• Labia majora (large outer lips): The labia majora is a somewhat sensitive area that overlays and protects the more delicate inner layer of the vulva. These outer lips are covered with pubic hair (that many women wax or shave). Many women find that removing the hair increases sensitivity to touch.
• Labia minora (smaller inner lips): These more sensitive lips swell and change color when a woman becomes aroused. They are more slender in size than the outer lips, though they sometimes extend down past them.
Some of the slang terms for the little pink stalk sometimes compared to the penis include the little girl in the boat, the bean, the magic button, the flower, and the pearl, among others. It is the only organ on either the male or the female body designed solely for pleasure. The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings and operates within network of 15,000 nerve endings that service the entire pelvic region. Knowing this, it would be nearly impossible to have an orgasm that is not clitoral in nature.
• The clitoral hood: This little outgrowth or overgrowth of skin covers and protects the clitoral glans. When a woman becomes aroused, the glans protrudes from the hood, though in some women, just barely.
• The clitoral glans or shaft: When people refer to the clitoris, they are usually talking about the clitoral glans. The vast system of nerves connecting the clitoris to the vagina all end in the glans. What a potent little piece of genital property that is!
• The crura (a.k.a. wings): Located to the right and left of the urethra, they run back to the pubic bone. The internal portion of the clitoris, these two sections are shaped like Vs, connecting to the clitoris at the point of the V.
• The vestibular or clitoral bulbs: A string of bulb-shaped aggregations of erectile tissue, the clitoral bulbs extend down beneath the labia minora. When a woman is aroused, they fill with blood, making the vulva swell.
• Front commissure: A very sensitive and often overlooked area above the base of the clitoral shaft, just below where the labia majoras meet.
• The fourchette: The bottom edges of the lips beneath the vaginal entrance, neighboring the perineum.
The vagina is the elastic, muscular canal connecting the uterus to the outside of a woman’s body. Babies come out of it. Penises go into it. When a woman is aroused, her vagina expands in width and length and produces lubrication, though additional lube may be needed if she is on some medications that may dry the vagina or is postmenopausal.
[image: Image]SEX FACT
The term cunnilingus comes from the Latin word for vulva (cunnus) and tongue (lingua). A person who performs cunnilingus may be referred to as a “cunnilinguist.”
The narrow end of the uterus that connects it with the top of the vagina is the cervix. It feels hard to the touch and expands with arousal and orgasm. Women who have cervical orgasms report an intense physical and emotional release.
The much-hyped G-spot is a spongy, walnut-sized mass of tissue approximately 1 to 3 inches (2.5 to 7.5 cm) up on the back wall of the vagina. You can feel it by inserting two fingers into a woman’s vagina and making the come hither gesture. Some women have intense G-spot orgasms; other women claim they can’t even find theirs.
Urine exits a woman’s body through her urethral opening. A small mass of erectile tissue above and on either side of that opening is very sensitive to erotic stimulation. Known as the U-spot, it is relatively undiscovered territory for some women (and the men who lick them).
Located slightly below and to the left and right of the vaginal opening, the Bartholin’s gland secretes small quantities of lubrication when a woman is aroused.
Located behind the rear wall of the vagina and around the lower end of the urethra, Skene’s glands swell with blood during arousal.
The exit for the colon, the anus is also very rich in nerve endings. Some women enjoy having their anus stimulated with a finger, tongue, anal dildo, or penis. Both men and women have a sphincter muscle that controls opening and closing the anus and that also contracts at the point of orgasm.
[image: Image]SEX FACT
Don’t compare your girl’s vulva to ones that you see in Penthouse, Playboy, or pornography. Many of the women featured in these magazines go through surgery to make themselves look picture perfect.
Pubococcygeal (or PC) Muscle
This is a hammock-like muscle stretching across the floor of the vagina from pubic bone to tailbone; it controls urine flow and contracts during orgasm. If she—and you, because men have it, too—exercises that muscle, it will become stronger, enhancing sexual pleasure and intensifying orgasm for both of you. With a strong PC muscle, she will be able to “grip” your penis, and even pull it in and out of her vagina.
Doing Kegel exercises builds that muscle. For women, regular Kegels keep the vagina toned after childbirth and postmenopause. Kegel exercises to strengthen the PC muscle are essential for every woman and man. Doing them is the absolute bottom line requirement for good sex. Not only does a strong PC make your orgasm more likely and more intense, it also facilitates multiple and extended orgasms. So do them!
For Her: How to Find Your (and His) PC Muscle
Locate your PC by stopping and starting the flow of urine. Once you have located the muscle, begin with a short Kegel sequence.
Contract the muscle 20 times at approximately one squeeze per second. Exhale gently as you tighten only the muscles around your genitals (which includes the anus), not the muscles in your buttocks. Don’t bear down when you release. Simply let go. Do two sets twice a day. Gradually build up to two sets of 75 per day.
Then add a long Kegel sequence.
Hold the muscle contraction for a count of three. Relax between contractions. Work up to holding for 10 seconds, then relaxing for 10 seconds. Again, start with two sets of 20 each and build up to 75.
Once you are doing 300 repetitions a day of the combined short and long sequences, you will be ready to add the push-out.
After relaxing the contraction, push down and out gently, as if you were having a bowel movement with your PC muscle. Repeat gently. No bearing down.
Now create Kegel sequences that combine long and short sequences with push-outs. After a month of daily repetitions of 300, you should have a well-developed PC muscle. You can keep it that way simply by doing sets of 150 several times a week.
A Variation for Her: The Kegel Crunch Vary your Kegel routine by doing them while exercising. For example, do Kegels as you perform pelvic crunches. Contract your PC as you pull in your stomach muscles. Release both at the same time.
A Variation for Him: Add Weight
As your PC muscle grows stronger, you can perform your exercises with first a damp handkerchief, then a face cloth, and finally a hand towel draped over your penis.
[image: Image]HER SEXUAL RESPONSE CYCLE
There are general stages of arousal common to all of us, yet specific to each of us. Paying attention to her sexual response cycle and flowing with her moods is the art of love-making and what will make you the best lover she has ever had. Women’s moods are so intricate that this could be a lifelong practice with the same woman.
Noted Female erogenous Zones
• Backs of the knees
• Lower back torso
Signs of Early Arousal
• Heart rate increases and her blood pressure rises
• Body muscles tense
• The vagina begins to lubricate
• Nipples and clitoris swell as they become engorged with blood
At this stage you want to psychologically and physically engage the female form. The scenerios in this book are a creative way for you to initiate this phase. Approach her with the intention of authentic appreciation, relecting back her own beauty. Long, slow strokes and gradual builds are generally desirable at this initial stage. Initiate physical contact with:
• Soft kisses
• Relaxed eye contact
• Light touches
As She Becomes More Aroused
• Breathing deepens, and she may moan or gasp
• Muscle tension increases, toes may curl, and spasms might show on the feet, face, and hands
• She sweats
• As the vagina swells with blood, the genitals appear darker
• The clitoris becomes larger
• Her breasts may even increase in size to become more full
• Her body flushes with a red tone
• Incorporate a rhythm
• Establish patterns and sets
• Apply pressure
• Increase pace
[image: Image]SEX FACT
On average, a woman needs twenty minutes of direct clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. The average guy needs two to five minutes of stimulation to the head of the penis via thrusting in intercourse or manual masturbation. Not fair, huh?
• Direct contact to clitoris and surrounding erogenous spots
• Sucking works well to direct energy
• Create gaps or moments of no stimulation
• Be present watching and listening to what she likes
• Hold on to her as she approaches orgasm
• She has muscle contractions and loses control. Depending on the intensity, she may have between three and fifteen contractions occurring at 0.8-second intervals. She may also experience contractions in other parts of her body such as the sphincter
• Her body may become rigid at the highest point of orgasm
• Some women ejaculate fluid
• Sex flush becomes brighter and more noticeable
Some people use cunnilingus as the appetizer, others the entrée. Women do not need to repeat the entire cycle to orgasm again. Once they are in the orgasm phase, they are highly orgasmic.
• Be grounded and steady, holding her in place
• Maintain contact to her clitoris and stimulating areas
• Apply pressure or sucking to the clitoris combined with light tongue strokes, which intensify orgasm
After the Last Orgasm
The refractory phase is an important part of the oral experience. Interrrupting this phase would be the same as cutting any of the other phases short.
• The clitoris and nipples become very sensitive
• “Sex flush” disappears
• Increased amounts of oxytocin, the “cuddle hormone,” are released into the body
How long should you stay in this phase? Ideally, until she breaks free from your embrace, but twenty minutes is a safe amount of time.
• Slow down direct stimulation to erogenous zones to a stop
• Be present with her
• Hold and caress her
• Celebrate her
[image: Image]SEX FACT
Any place can be an erogenous zone. Sex researcher Alfred Kinsey found that some women could reach orgasm by having their earlobes nibbled or eyebrows stroked.
Text © 2010 Sonia Borg, Ph.D., M.P.H.
Photography © 2010 Quiver
First published in the USA in 2010 by
Quiver, a member of
Quayside Publishing Group
100 Cummings Center
Beverly, MA 01915-6101
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without prior permission in writing from the publisher.
The Publisher maintains the records relating to images in this book required by 18 USC 2257. Records are located at Rockport Publishers, Inc., 100 Cummings Center, Suite 406-L, Beverly, MA 01915-6101.
A Note to Readers:
This book contains the opinions and ideas of the author and is intended for the use of informed and consenting adults. It’s not therapy; it’s fun.
Sonia Borg, Ph.D., M.P.H. is a clinical sexologist, not a therapist or medical doctor. Some of the practices and positions in this book may not be appropriate for people with medical conditions or physical impairments. Use your good judgment!
14 13 12 11 10 1 2 3 4 5
Digital edition: 978-1-6278-8117-3
Softcover edition: 978-1-59233-391-2
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Oral sex she’ll never forget: positions and techniques that will make her orgasm like she never has before / Sonia Borg.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN-13: 978-1-59233-391-2 (alk. paper)
ISBN-10: 1-59233-391-5 (alk. paper)
1. Sex instruction for men. 2. Oral sex. 3. Female orgasm. I. Title.
Techniques That Will Drive Her Wild!
For many women intercourse isn’t enough to get them from “oh” to “oh-YES!”. Getting a woman to orgasm has more to do with movement of your lips than what you do with your hips. These Quiver quickies teach you all of the mouth moves you need to go down on a woman skillfully.
Unique cunnilingus experiences from start to finish!
Dr. Sonia Borg earned her Ph.D. in human sexuality and Masters in public health from The Institute for The Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco and her masters’ degree in communication from San Francisco State University. She is certified as a clinical sexologist by the American College of Sexologists and is a member of The American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors and Therapists (AASECT). Sonia has been featured on television and radio. Her authentic, dynamic, and engaging style makes her a sought after speaker, educator, author, and sex expert. She lives in Lahaina, Hawaii. Visit her website at www.thehappyendingscompany.com.
Get quick advice in each of these new quiver quickies!
Also available where print and ebooks are sold:
Oral Sex She’ll Never Forget
Paperback ISBN: 9781592333912
Ebook ISBN: 9781616738648
Oral Sex He’ll Never Forget
Paperback ISBN: 9781592333851
Ebook ISBN: 9781616735760
Oral You'll She’ll Never Forget
Paperback ISBN: 9781592335930
Ebook ISBN: 9781610589123